Happy New Year?

Happy New Year? I hope so, but I'm in trepidation of how much happiness it is likely to hold for me.  Oh don't get me wrong, I expect the usual bouts of happiness that drop in and out of life as they are prone to do, but the things I have wished and hoped for in 2011 that failed to arrive are highly unlikely to come skipping into my life in 2012.

I guess I need to learn to love life without being able to exercise, without any more babies and always feeling like my marriage is on the brink of disaster.  Seriously if I can learn to embrace that lot I'm on the yellow brick road to smilesville.

Learning to stand up straight, brace the shoulder to the wind and just dammed well smile might be a start.  It's hard this time of year to imagine being able to do that when I actually want to just curl into a ball under a quilt and just disappear.


"Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not." : is a Vaclav Havel quote I read today.  Being too serious about anything is not good for the soul, and serious people unsettle me.  Maybe I'm unsettling myself.

"If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always got.  If what you get isn't what you want then do something different"

So there's my answer.  Time for change.  I don't know yet what it is but I know it probably doesn't involve sitting here quite as often.

I'm not entirely sure why but these thoughts took me to here:




Which in turn led me to the song we played at my father's funeral, which is the way he lived and really where I should be too.



I'll be back (I mean smiling, I'm unlikely to actually stop blogging!)