A Guiding Life

Where Europe stops and England starts

>> Thursday, September 30, 2010

The UK is technically part of Europe but the English Channel (a thin strip of water dividing England and the rest of Europe) could be as wide as the Atlantic Ocean.

Ask anyone what continent the UK is in and you can't argue, it is Europe. But ask most people living in the UK if they are a European and they will look at you with the "you have a scorpion crawling out of your mouth" look or at least a little confused and thoughtful.

Why? Well I think it all becomes a bit muddy and non-factual then, it's just a general feeling...it may be an undiluted amount of imperialism remaining. We aren't part of anything else, we are Great Britain*. The European Parliament straighten our bananas (yes I know they come on a plane but they are still ours - get off 'em), they tell us how much hog we can have in our roast, they are interfering money wasting....oh you get the picture...until we want to the part of the EU working directive so we can put our feet up on a Sunday then all is Euro-harmony. You see : muddy!

We want to be part of the Ryder Cup, we enjoy the crassness of the Eurovision song contest, but do we want to be put in the same cart of people as the cheese eating surrender monkeys? Nope!

The UK population is so diverse. We are Roman, Jutes, Angles, Saxons, Vikings, Normans (can we try to forget that bit?!), African, Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, Bengali, West Indian, Cypriots, Greek, Poles...we are a wordwide mix of cultures and people. We now have a large Eastern European immigration populous. In my experience the Europeans I know (non-British) are happy to be called European. It's just the non-European Europeans that are non-European - get it?!

So, in summary (for the intrigued Canadians), the UK is in Europe. The UK population would never refer to themselves are European, unless there was something in it for them and then of course we are!

Clear as mud!!!! Anybody else want the baton? I think I just dropped it!

*I'll explain the difference between the United Kingdom, Great Britain and the British Isles another day!!

Food Porn

>> Wednesday, September 29, 2010

This weeks Gallery is Food.

HWMBO has been disappearing every Sunday afternoon with a wealth of photography equipment. I have been a little suspicious of exactly what has been going on!!!! But Last Sunday I went with him as he needed to take his own model - hmmmm up went my eyebrow! Turns out they were a lovely bunch of people doing some very clever things. So today I give you one of HWMBOs photos which I think fits the theme perfectly.

Herd Control

>> Monday, September 27, 2010

Heather from Notes in Lapland recently blogged about blogger behaviour that often upsets groups of people by directly berating posts of others but often without naming names and sometimes by the finger pointer displaying themselves as victims, looking for sympathy and looking to sway the tide of opinion against the other blogger.

This is a very difficult situation where the balance between open healthy debate and causing deep hurt is sometimes undone. I haven't been at the centre of any of this but the debates about the ethically correct way to deal with it has left me thinking a lot.

I am a believer in 'herd control'. If someone is doing something that a group considers unacceptable then the group simply says "that isn't how we behave around here". I think if an entire group ignores behaviour that is unwanted but openly rewards what is, then people (innately seeking acknowledgement and inclusion) will do what leads to the rewards. If we react to the unacceptable, attention seekers may continue to behave in that manner because they want any attention whether good or bad.

This approach has always been used in toddler taming in my family. We step over a tantrum, simply saying we don't do that here, I am ready for you when you are ready to be nice and walk away (yes even in a supermarket with on lookers!). It often works in my adult relationships saying "I don't want to have a shouting match about this, if we can't reason it out now then can we come back to it later". I believe this says "I don't find shouting acceptable but I am prepared to discuss the issue later" and my husband will do the same with me. Rising above the initial charge of reactive emotion and working out how to maintain a positive approach is a hard thing to do and something I regularly fail to do, but is always my aim or wished for behaviour.

But there are a number of issues with this approach. You can't always ignore bad behaviour. It would be wrong to turn a blind eye to someone being attacked, bullied or hurt. Sometimes the "hey, we don't do it that way around here" has to be said out loud.

So exhibiting correct behaviour isn't ignoring nor is it ostracism. Ostracism could be used a a passive form of bullying and manipulation. Exhibiting the correct behaviour is some where in between.

I feel all this is leading me back to Desiderata, if I could live to this most of the time I would be very proud of myself and it is who I strive to be.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be Happy

The Grand Final

>> Saturday, September 25, 2010

Footy has always been important to HWMBO.

Let me take you to 2002. For me important because he was taking me to Australia for the first time to meet his family and for him because Collingwood made it to the Grand Final.

This was a nightmare because the end of the game clashed with our final check in time. The solution was to book the closest hotel to Heathrow T4 with Skysports 2 (small audience for AFL in the UK) so we could get to check in by the skin of our teeth. They lost and I spent 13 hours to Singapore with a grumpy man.

It's not just HWMBO, if his friends happen to be in town (well Europe anyway) they have come for the final. 2005 about 7am (time zone issues) I wandered down to my living room to find Australian on hands and knees thumping the floor with his fist. I guess the game was a close one.

So here we are 2010 and Collingwood are back in the final. Pies bought and ready to eat. Hubby getting up at 3:30am for the prematch waffle and I know that the happiness of my whole weekend and probably weeks to come are dependent on this group of guys. We met a lot of them at the Walkabout in Temple and to be honest I didn't go for them a whole bunch.

I don't understand the importance of it, I've never followed a team and can't understand the way it affects Hubby so much. Fingers crossed for a win or I'm off out for the rest of the weekend to shop away the blues.

Mathematical Numpty

>> Friday, September 24, 2010

Many moons ago ( approximately 337) I managed to pass GSCE math with an A. 13 moons later I passed GSCE Advanced maths and went on to Study Math, Further Maths and Physics at A level.

Admittedly I dropped out of A levels and went and got a job but all the same you can't fake passing Maths exams, can you?

Let's roll by the years and I find I can no longer add up or more importantly help my daughter with her homework.

Tonight, it took me the best part of 15 minutes to fathom out that 'as there were 3 blue balls to every 1 red, plus the one on the end, if I want to know how many red balls there were if there were 51 blue blues, I simply had to divide 51 by 3 and add 1' and I'm still not convinced my way of getting to the answer isn't all about the houses!

Only week 3 of high school and I'm struggling! You see, I can't....see numbers that is!

Never have been able to really. They dance on the page. Number relationships I struggle with even now at work. Don't get me started on unions versus inner and and outer joins. The number of times I am told "you've got a Cartesian join there" is quite embarrassing.

I can do code breakers, I love a good logic problem but as soon as I have to work out how many sweets Daphne needs to put into each bag my head goes blank.

Tonight I feel a right numpty and it's made me question my overall intelligence, maybe I am a fraud and actually a right idiot that has just managed to blag it this far.

Ocular Trauma

Smile?!!

>> Wednesday, September 22, 2010

This weeks Gallery is 'Smile'.

What is it that my In-Law-Family appear unable to produce an image I would like over the mantelpiece. Ya'll just got to do that 'small gene pool' look!!!

This photo always makes me smile and it lives in a picture mix in the kitchen but it would be good to get one for the 'Pool Room' guys!

We're Not Pretending to be Crap!

>> Monday, September 20, 2010

So England captain Andrew Strauss is outraged by fixing claim

My first thought was "well it's money for old rope, England being asked to lose"!!!!!!

I think England's Cricket captain Andrew Strauss dismissing suggestions they deliberately lost last Friday's third one-day match against Pakistan in return for money is hilarious. Is he saying they didn't try to lose and they really are 'just shite'!!!!!!!!!! This is a no win situation (sic), he really should just stop digging and keep quiet!

"No honestly, we haven't taken any bribes, we are all trying really hard to win."

"Hey guys, who paid the Umpire?"

Whiz, Whooosh, Bang!

>> Wednesday, September 15, 2010

This weeks Gallery is "A Celebration". These are poor quality, old phone camera, bad light photos but they were the first that jumped to mind when I read this weeks theme.

I love the looks of excitement on G's face, the awe in H's and finally the engagement of L.

I love Guy Fawkes night in our village. Everyone goes to the local pub and enjoys a free massive firework display. The chippy is packed, the pubs are packed, the field is packed, the road is covered in people. Gloves, hats, sparklers, rosy cheeks. All out to celebrate the capture of Guy Fawkes. In that special way we Brits have, we thrown him into a burning pyre every year and then look at what Parliament could have been! Ready now, all together"ooooooh, ahhhhhhh" !!

What to do when it rains..

>> Sunday, September 12, 2010

I promised she could camp out, it poured and poured, so she camped in!

Eid and 9/11

>> Friday, September 10, 2010

I wish joy to those celebrating. I wish strength and send love to those remembering.

I pray for tolerance and humility.

Isn't this a lovely definition of humility : “humility is being willing to accept that things may be other than the way you think they are."

Slipping Through My Fingers

>> Tuesday, September 07, 2010

This weeks Gallery is Back to School. I did a post on this last week when my daughter went back to school and I wanted to expand on it. I've never put a video together before, I quite like it.

Back to School

School Run Starts

>> Monday, September 06, 2010

Just in case the velour glad among you with the beautiful nails are a little worried about getting Tarquin to his big day....

Love in Lights

>> Sunday, September 05, 2010

I love our local restaurant, great food, never full.

I have been ill recently and didn't feel like cooking. I had also treated myself to a new dress, so off we trotted to 'The Bath'.

It turned out to be Hayley and Scott's special occasion!!! I was surprised on entering to find the restaurant very quiet, turned out Hayley+Scott was yesterday but their names were still up in lights!!!

I managed to berate hubby for not ever having had our name up in lights and exclaim how it could have so easily have been Narelle and Scott.* A juxtaposition if ever there was.

*Triple R, Crud Show - you probably had to be in Melbourne about 1996

Confusing Tourists on the Tube - Part Deux

>> Friday, September 03, 2010

In the spirit of the number of freebies being thrown around the blogosphere at the moment, I give you a handy map and FREE entry to the Elephant and Castle (can't say fairer than that).

If you are interested : this is Part One

and the Original